Sabrina's Super Secret Toffee Recipe

One of my most popular recipes is Elegant Toffee.  It's one of those universal things that everyone loves and I get asked to make it more than anything else.  No one ever asks for the recipe, but I still think the intriguing tale of toffee is worth telling. I was taught how to make toffee by my grandma on a cold winter day in 2003, but the delicious knowledge of the recipe goes back much, much further....

Cleopatra was renowned for her beauty and political acumen.  What history has forgotten is the delicious confection she served Julius Caesar at their first meeting.  It was the first bite of candy which began one of the most notorious love affairs in history.  It should be noted that at this time, the candy was not coated in chocolate, both because of the heat and because chocolate didn't exist in ancient Egypt. 

Poor bastards

The recipe was thought lost to antiquity when Cleopatra committed suicide by snake.

I just died of fright

 Fortunately, two English draft dodgers, not wanting to fight the colonies in the American Revolutionary war, decided to take on the impossible task of finding the source of the Nile, thought to be deep in the heart of Africa and filled with gold and gemstones.  The two intrepid explorers did not find gold or gems, but did come across an abandoned temple of Isis. 

Historically Accurate Photo

 This temple had been dedicated at the height of Cleopatra's reign, and in celebration of her talents, the toffee recipe was inscribed on the wall. 

Desolate at not finding a hoard of gold or Solomon's mines, the explorers nonetheless took the section of the wall inscribed with the recipe back to Cairo with them and took the first boat back to England.  The boat they chose was not going to England, however, and was instead a trading vessel bound for South America.  This didn't bother the men too much, since South America was known for being much more temperate than England and they had become accustomed to the heat of Africa.  Upon arrival in South America, the two men tried their hands at mining and failed, instead marrying into a coffee planter's family and living happily ever after.

This romantic tale was later adapted for the silver screen.

But what of the toffee recipe, you ask?  Well, when the coffee plantation fell on hard times, the family searched the attics for things they might pawn to stay afloat during the dry season.  One of the more adventurous daughters of the family came across the dusty old stone with the recipe and promptly attempted to recreate the confection.  Her experiment was a great success (it was at this point that the chocolate coating was added) and she soon began selling the candy on the path up to Machu Picchu, where my great-grandmother purchased a packet.  Instead of continuing on her trip, my great-grandmother remained in South America, learning the secret recipe before returning home and teaching it to her daughter, my grandma who in turn taught it to me.  And that, my friends, is the true story of how this toffee recipe came to me.

Or it's in the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook.  I think the Cleopatra thing is more likely.

"But Sabrina, how do you make it?"

Good question, hypothetical reader!  It's more of a process than a recipe, so here's a run-down of how I actually produce such deliciousness.

First, put butter, sugar, vanilla and salt in a pan over medium heat and start stirring with a wooden spoon.  Sing all of Journey's Don't Stop Believing while you continue to stir.  Make sure you sing ALL of the song, even the annoying repetition of the refrain at the end which gets annoying when someone sings it at karaoke. 

When you've finished the song, remember you forgot the first first step and yell at Dan to "Come here and help me NOW please!"  While Dan is stirring, cover a cookie sheet with wax paper and spread a single layer of almonds on it.   Take the spoon back from Dan and keep stirring, this time chanting "Don't scrape the pan" because you do NOT want to scrape the pan when you pour out the molten sugar mixture.  As you are stirring you'll notice it goes from platinum blonde to light brown faster than a banana reaches peak ripeness and then rots.  When it is all light brown, pour it over the almonds.  DO NOT SCRAPE THE PAN.  While the candy cools, chop up a whole bunch of walnuts.  Just keep chopping.  When you're tired of chopping, wash the pan you cooked the toffee in and then melt a bag of chocolate chips in it.  Pour half the melted chocolate over the slab of toffee and then sprinkle the chopped walnuts on it.  Put the whole shebang in the fridge until the chocolate hardens a bit.  Flip the slab, repeat the chocolate and walnuts, put back in fridge.  When the chocolate is hard all the way through, break the candy into pieces.  I use my hands.  It will be messy, but your reward for that mess will be over a pound of elegant toffee and 2-3 cups of nut/chocolate/toffee crumbs that you can later put on ice cream or in cookies.