Abu Dhabi Dunebillies

Forty-one years ago the UAE wasn't even a country.  It was just a little part of the Arabian peninusula with family tribes.  Then they found oil, and Mohammed bin Zayed, who must have been a helluva negotiator, decided they should be their own country.  I would have thought Saudi Arabia would have had something to say about that, but I guess they looked at their own oil fields and shrugged.  Thus, the UAE was born.  Maybe Saudi didn't think they'd do anything with this tiny little country on the coast, but then they built this:

Burj Khalifa at night

and this:

Chandelieriest Chandelier in the World (Crystal Category)

and all this:

Even the beach is an award-winning construction

Now they are pretty much the only place in the Middle East you might want to go on vacation. 

Even Kim Kardashian Kthinks Kso!

But lets go back to the beginning.  When the tribes first got rich, they were living out in the red dunes, tending herds of camels, picking dates, and making rosewater.  Then... OIL!  And what do you do when you strike oil?

You move to the coast!

Unlike the Clampetts, when the tribes decided to go back to the dunes from whence they came and honor their heritage, they did it in style, building an amazing resort deep in the desert.  First-class accommodations, exceptional service, "authentic" arabian experiences, and all self-contained. That's where Dan and I went to celebrate our first anniversary where we didn't have to feel guilty about spending too much money (Abu Dhabi has been good to us): Qasr Al Sarab*

Every room has a view of the sunset.  Every room.  Dan and I had the cheapest room in the place, and it was still the most amazing hotel room I've ever been in.  When you arrive (since there's no where else to go), valets swarm your car, taking your luggage, and offering water and cold towels.  Then you're whisked into the foyer to relax with a glass of "welcome beverage," which I later learned was camel milk and dates.  I didn't care for it, but Dan loved it.  Guess I need to start keeping camels for fresh milk.  It was a little overwhelming for me, but I guess when you're building a resort to honor your heritage you want it to be amazing.

And profitable

There's a part of the property reserved in perpetuity and kept always ready in case any of the sheiks want to drop in.  You'll know they are there if there's an extra helicopter sitting around.  There's always one on hand in case of a medical emergency.  This place is in the middle of nowhere.

There are approximately 100 miles of this between you and a hospital

We took a sunrise dune walk (because I'm crazy and plan things like that).  It was a bit much for me, a sunset ride, a late night, sleeping in a new bed, then getting up at 5am, but it was worth it to be the only two people on the outing.  Our guide was great.  He took us to see the gazelle (wild, but they put out food and salt licks so they hang around), and pointed out the tracks of the animals that inhabit the desert: gerbils, scorpions, lizards (no snakes, fortunately).  He also told us about a visit he had from a sheik who was showing an American guest around.  The Sheik wanted to go dune bashing and thought that the guide wasn't driving fast enough, even though the American was obviously uncomfortable.  The Sheik demanded his own vehicle, and the guide refused, as it was against the rules and he would lose his job.  The Sheik responded "This is my vehicle, this is my hotel!"  He still didn't get another SUV.

Employee: 1, Sheik: 0

I love this story so much, because I do like to think that rich people are spoiled, entitled jerks, and even though that's may not always be the case, at least I know now that sometimes it is. 

It was a wonderful weekend, all the photos are up on Facebook now, and now I have a good idea what to do when I find some Texas Tea or win the lottery:  Remember my roots with a ridonculous hotel.

Camels NOT optional

*Pronounced kay-sir all sah-rab, and said with the same emphasis and sing-song intonation as Que Sera Sera.