Hot Pockets: Shannanigans!

People who know me in real life know one of my great friends Rob.  He watched my house and my puppies while I globe-trotted, and that forges a deep bond, mostly because you're trusting someone with your whole entire life's worth of stuff and two dogs as close as your children. He did a fantastic job, and I can never thank him enough. However, I think I might have just been shanghaied. 

Text messaging is the communication of the future, and some days Rob and I engage in witty banter to keep ourselves amused. Yesterday, I sent him a photo of a stuffed animal I didn't recognize asking if it was his.  After his no reply, I went about my business (unpacking boxes and continuing to banter). Then, there was an incriminating message: Rob knew this stuffed animal I had never seen screeched, and that giving it to someone else was a curse!  It was his sling-monkey all the time! 

Thus, I officially declare shenanigans on Rob. Also, I need to ask him what the punishment is for knowingly passing on a cursed sling-monkey. 

What Happened to Shark Week?

When I was a kid, Shark Week was many things, but people didn't look forward to it and it was't called "The Official End of Summer" (that dubious honor belongs to Labor Day weekend according to some).  Shark Week wasn't popular and not everyone watched it.

Certainly, no one made fruit salad art.

I watched it, in fact, I got to stay up late to watch Shark Week.  Or maybe I didn't have a bedtime.  I don't remember.

It was a freer time.

What I do remember is that Shark Week was hella scary.  Sure, they were misunderstood, etc., etc., and so forth, but it was still scary.  I'm talking about raw news footage of a guy who's leg had just been bitten off, the credits rolling over a repeating shark face breaking the water in slow motion, a scene that I can vividly recall even today.

Sharks always win staring contests.

There was even a special on a guy who had a refrigerated truck full of great white shark carcasses frozen with their mouths' open. 

Rated PG for Probably Give you Nightmares

Today? EVERYONE is talking about Shark Week.  And it's not anything to get jazzed up about.  The shark shows are on 24/7 and there's even a late-night talk show style program called "Sharks After Dark LIVE!" or some such nonsense.

"And what's the deal with airplane food?"

And apparently, most people believe that the prehistoric giant dinosaur shark still exists, because the Discovery Channel told them so via Megalodon: The Blair Shark Project.

Makes James van der Beek weep for humanity.

I know now that most kids go through a phase where they want to be an oceanographer.  And for those kids Shark Week circa 1995 was amazing!  Now, it's just a ratings gambit by a station that hasn't taught me anything since they premiered Ice Road Truckers, and that makes me sad.  Good thing Neil DeGrasse Tyson's Cosmos is coming soon.