Dear Gallbladder:
Due to recent events, showing that you have more tenants living in the unit than allowed, you are hereby evicted. You will be removed via laparoscopic procedure on June 20, 2012 and any stones you may contain will be removed along with you.
My sister has concerns that when you are removed from the premises, you may take other parts with you, such as a kidney or lung. Please be advised that the proper authorities will oversee the eviction process to ensure this does not occur.
Not that we haven't had some good times, gallbladder. You've stored bile for me for almost 30 years, through weeks when I ate nothing but ice cream and fried chicken. But now that you are harboring seven stones, I'm afraid we must part ways.
Seven stones? Several? I'm really bad at understanding accents. Honestly, the first three minutes of Game of Thrones sounds like this to me:
Our troubles all began on Thanksgiving 2010, when you made me projectile vomit a delicious dinner all over my grandmother's bathroom. Despite numerous attempts to avoid foods that irritated you and a vast amount of Nexium (the Rolls-Royce of stomach medications, according to my cute little German PCP), you have continued to cause me pain and nausea.
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| Yeah, Nexium is *just* like this |
So, my little friend, we must part. You, to a medical waste bin, and me to a future of eating deep fried zucchini without fear.
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| Extra ranch dressing, please |
I hope the surgeon will be able to let me keep the stones so that I can freak out my nephews and future hypothetical children.
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| Best role model ever |
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