If you're like me, you have been enticed by the internet coupon phenomenon. Most normal people have since unsubscribed from Groupon/Livingsocial
/UnbelievablyCheapStuff.com, but not me! Sometimes the ones for Abu Dhabi are actually pretty good and I buy them. I mostly buy coupons for mani/pedis, because the first time you go to a salon you always get good service. That's my theory anyway, and since Abu Dhabi is saturated with nail salons, and I don't go very often, it continues to work in my favor. There are also some good deals on food for restaurants I'd like to try, and I buy those and go to those places. It gets Dan and I out of the house and to some new places.
The majority of these internet deals are for things I don't buy because I'm just not interested.
Or I don't understand.
Then there are the ones that are so terrible and incomprehensible, I would never, ever consider buying them. For instance, here's a whole bunch of internet deals for medical services:
This Lasik deal is only good for one eye. That's right. Personally, I wouldn't trust anyone with a laser near my eye whose main attraction was "Wow, that's cheap!"
Same goes for someone messing around with my spine.
Or my teeth. I'm very persnickety about my teeth, I brush twice a day, floss once a day, use two types of mouthwash (one in the morning, one at night). Why in the world would I go get a half-price crown from a dentist I've never heard of?
This one is just trying to convince EVERYONE they need allergy testing. And why not? It's only about $85.
When I got this one I laughed, because it's a restaurant I know about solely because my sister, in the course of a job, picked up a batch of spinach with a rat in it.
Sometimes, the deal is for an item rather than a service. Usually it's an As-Seen-On-TV type item, but sometimes it's for a huge box full of condoms and lubricant.
And there are a lot of "deals" on trips. Hotel discounts (which aren't really discounts), flight vouchers with so many restrictions you could probably use it only in a month with two full moons as long as that month doesn't end in Y. Here's a trip deal that's unusual for a couple of reasons. First, it's a full-service package, flight, accommodation, meals, etc.
You can't see all the fine print, so you probably didn't catch it: There is nothing that says you have to be Muslim to redeem this voucher. Sure, you could buy it, plan your trip to Saudi Arabia, but when you applied for a visa into the country, you'd be denied. Unless you were Muslim. You also wouldn't be allowed into the mosque at all. Of course, who would want to visit Mecca during the holiday season. Have you seen those crowds?
Some of you may be asking, do you have an example of a coupon you would buy? Sure. I have in my possession right now two vouchers, each good for 200 dirhams worth of food at a fancy steakhouse that cost me 100 dirhams each. That means a half price steak dinner. I may have to redeem those now, as just typing the word "steak" is making me salivate a bit.
This. I would also buy this. Because it's huge and shiny and made of diamonds.
/UnbelievablyCheapStuff.com, but not me! Sometimes the ones for Abu Dhabi are actually pretty good and I buy them. I mostly buy coupons for mani/pedis, because the first time you go to a salon you always get good service. That's my theory anyway, and since Abu Dhabi is saturated with nail salons, and I don't go very often, it continues to work in my favor. There are also some good deals on food for restaurants I'd like to try, and I buy those and go to those places. It gets Dan and I out of the house and to some new places.
 |
| Otherwise we'd just eat at Fuddruckers all the time. |
The majority of these internet deals are for things I don't buy because I'm just not interested.
 |
| I already know how to fly a kite, thanks. |
Or I don't understand.
 |
| Do you do yoga on the yacht? And why is it so cheap? Does the whole "experience" last about 15 minutes? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME! |
Then there are the ones that are so terrible and incomprehensible, I would never, ever consider buying them. For instance, here's a whole bunch of internet deals for medical services:
This Lasik deal is only good for one eye. That's right. Personally, I wouldn't trust anyone with a laser near my eye whose main attraction was "Wow, that's cheap!"
 |
| No refunds, exchanges, and definitely no guarantees |
Same goes for someone messing around with my spine.
 |
| Even though this place is right by my apartment! |
Or my teeth. I'm very persnickety about my teeth, I brush twice a day, floss once a day, use two types of mouthwash (one in the morning, one at night). Why in the world would I go get a half-price crown from a dentist I've never heard of?
 |
| "But you could get six at once ma'am!" |
This one is just trying to convince EVERYONE they need allergy testing. And why not? It's only about $85.
 |
| A great gift for that hypochondriac in your life! |
When I got this one I laughed, because it's a restaurant I know about solely because my sister, in the course of a job, picked up a batch of spinach with a rat in it.
 |
| That's why stuffed grape leaves are so sour. |
Sometimes, the deal is for an item rather than a service. Usually it's an As-Seen-On-TV type item, but sometimes it's for a huge box full of condoms and lubricant.
 |
| Send me a dozen. |
And there are a lot of "deals" on trips. Hotel discounts (which aren't really discounts), flight vouchers with so many restrictions you could probably use it only in a month with two full moons as long as that month doesn't end in Y. Here's a trip deal that's unusual for a couple of reasons. First, it's a full-service package, flight, accommodation, meals, etc.
 |
| Preorder for next Ramadan! |
You can't see all the fine print, so you probably didn't catch it: There is nothing that says you have to be Muslim to redeem this voucher. Sure, you could buy it, plan your trip to Saudi Arabia, but when you applied for a visa into the country, you'd be denied. Unless you were Muslim. You also wouldn't be allowed into the mosque at all. Of course, who would want to visit Mecca during the holiday season. Have you seen those crowds?
 |
| I just had a mini-panic attack |
Some of you may be asking, do you have an example of a coupon you would buy? Sure. I have in my possession right now two vouchers, each good for 200 dirhams worth of food at a fancy steakhouse that cost me 100 dirhams each. That means a half price steak dinner. I may have to redeem those now, as just typing the word "steak" is making me salivate a bit.
This. I would also buy this. Because it's huge and shiny and made of diamonds.
 |
| Bling! |
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