Introducing Hot Pockets: Calendar Edition

Since I got this iPad I've rarely sat down to my computer for any serious writing (or at least as serious as my writing ever gets). Well, that means not as many blog posts. To remedy that, I'm going to start writing Hot Pockets. Just like the frozen food, Hot Pockets will be small and u satisfying, but with the upside of always being one in the freezer, aka, in my brain (have I mentioned I keep my apartment freezing?). The length of such posts will be constrained by how long I can type on my iPad. Please address any information on typos to Apple's Autocorrect department.

To the topic!

I like to have a paper, hang it on the wall calendar. Although they are usually available for free (if all else fails there's the Horses of Wells Fargo calendar my mother can always get from work), I like to purchase the most ridiculous calendar possible. Thus I can be entertained when writing down the minutiae I put on a calendar: doctor's appointments, when I put in new contact lenses, what day I last took a migraine pill.

Two years ago it was a Geek Goddess calendar; pinup girls with nerdy themes like steampunk and video games. It had the added bonus of supporting a small group of young artists. Despite being pleased with the purchase, I didn't buy the calendar again because the young artists in question started plastering my Facebook page with prayer requests and admonitions not to drink tap water because of the fluoride. Young artists I support. Young anti-science evangelicals, no.

Last year was a bust: Retro Ad posters. All because I was too embarrassed to buy the bikini babes riding dragons calendar when shopping with my mother-in-law. I won't make that mistake again.

I thought nothing would ever surpass the sheer ridiculousness of Painted Cats 2003, but this year's calendar may have done it. Without further ado, I am proud to present this year's calendar....Dioramas made of Marshmallow candy!