Too Darn Hot

I hate hot beverages.

I know that's a pretty broad statement to make, and so of course there are exceptions, but pretty universally, I despise putting warm liquid in my mouth.

Cocoa gets a pass because of the whipped cream

And I hate coffee. Really, I just can't stand it. Even a hint of coffee flavor and my taste buds bug out quicker than a MASH unit.

Definitely quicker than the 4077

I say this even though I've had approximately 4 bajillion cups of hot green tea today in an effort to stop the horrible pain in my throat, I didn't enjoy a single one.

I did enjoy using my unicorn tapestry mug though.

At first it's too hot. Too, too hot, and it's a danger to my tongue. Then there is a brief window where it's cool enough not to burn my tongue, but still hot enough to scald the surface of my tonsils, which is what soothes it.

Maybe it's time to let someone try some backyard surgery on me. I've been looking for a reason to buy a plasma torch.

Science just hasn't made enough progress on the lightsaber

.

Perhaps as a denizen of the desert, hot beverages are just something I don't understand, like heated seats or floors.

And what's up with tire chains?

I mean, it's November, and my air conditioner is still coming on to keep the house below 80 degrees in the afternoons. So what do I drink? Cold, unsweetened tea. Most people would use the term iced tea, but since I don't use ice it seems inaccurate. This penchant for unsweetened iced tea might be genetic: apparently dinner with my great-grandfather was punctuated by him tossing ice cubes into your glass of Lipton tea. Sweet tea is an abomination. Don't make me think about it anymore, I'm not feeling well as it is.

I used to be a Coke fiend. Truth be told, I still am, but I was terribly spoiled by Arabian Coke and it's cane sugar. Plus, I like being healthier.

Nope, that's a lie. I like being skinnier.

So I drink Coke sparingly. There's no better cure for migraine nausea than an ice-cold Coke with a straw.  I'm also partial to pineapple juice.

Some of your might ask: But Sabrina, what do you use as a mixer when you're drinking?

Good question!

I don't. I've grown up enough to realize that liquor gives me migraines while beer and wine do not.  I have not grown up enough to put my foot down when liquor is to the only option. (See Halloween Exploits for details). Maybe next decade.

Anyway, I've mostly made the switch to hard apple cider or white wine.

Gluten Free! Just look for the box that reminds you of The Wizard of Oz.

And what do I usually use mugs for?

Winter is no longer coming: it's here!